Uhh, still trying to figure that one out

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery, today is a gift." - Eleanor Rosevelt

This is a diner, Picasso. Not the Louvre!

Sad Cody.

It's really depressing how children are treated in contemporary society: They are either starved emotionally, economically or both. Worst of all, children are having to overcompensate by acting like adults while their parents behave like children. Very, very sad.

Red! Larry had this sick bottle of wine . . .

The color red is such an essential element in Shelter. It often serves as the key to the movie's design, its dialogue and its deepest meanings.

. . . quick surf sess(ion)

Contrary to the stereotype about simply "hanging ten", there is a deeply rooted spiritual, psychological and historical element to surfing.

Perhaps Master underestimates student.

Perhaps, that is the understatement of the entire film! Shaun's agreement to take Zach up on a simple offer to go surfing sets a series of events into motion that blew their minds and captured their hearts.

. . . Of the week!

So often we spend our time trying to find a love that lasts. Unfortunately, we largely forget to ask ourselves how we truly will respond when it finally knocks on the door of our hearts. Will we embrace love with open arms or, out of fear, run the other way?

No one ever looks at that.

Too many of our greatest talents are either hidden or ignored.

My life is not like that!

Though life is not always what we want it to be, it is always what we allow it to become.

Little kids are supposed to be spoiled.

Soooo true!

Kind of surprised to see you applied again.

Me too! Sometimes we all need a little bit of help from our friends. Life is too hard - and too short - to go it alone.

Just for the art.

Where would any of us be without art? - Dead!

I can't leave him.

Zach is always putting Cody first. This is the very definition of what a parent should do.

Hello, hello. Is anyone out there?

Shaun is amazing.

Ghetto Trash!

Ah . . . there's nothing quite like a bromance and masculine terms of endearment to set a plot in motion.

Find another f***in' fantasy

The view that Shaun fantasized about Zach is definitely popular and it adds an erotic undercurrent to the plot. Much depends on how one interprets the line where Zach accuses Shaun of seeing him as a childhood "wet dream" (I love the use of water imagery). If taken literally, one would believe that Shaun harbored feelings for Zach. I'm more inclined to feel that Zach, desperate to push the love of his life away in order to please his sister, projected his emotions on to Shaun. Zach's projection highlighted the codependent family dynamic and the psychological conflict hindering his journey toward both self-acceptance and personal fulfillment. I loved the fact that the film left things open to interpretation. The differing perspectives only prove that Shelter is a multidimensional work of art. I can't wait to read the book and discover the author's version of what really took place! (even if it is fiction). To me, the story sends a powerful message to people of all ages who are searching for freedom and yearning to reach their potential. I especially hope that it serves as a source of encouragement to youth struggling with their identity. It's a brutal world out there. Even if it doesn't always occupy our thoughts, the battle to find, and keep, love seems to be what ignites our dreams.

Everyone's gone, man!

Like a number of Shelter's exquisite details, this line is easy to miss. It is, arguably, the saddest statement in the entire film. Zach's succinct response reveals one of the most heart-rending of human experiences, being left behind. Kirk Cameron movies aside (R.I.P. Andrew Koenig), desertion is especially difficult to endure as a young adult. Those lightning fast years between 18 and 25 usually mean friends are either completing degrees, launching careers, getting married, giving birth, fighting in a foreign land or at war with themselves. No matter the scenario, it's typically played out as far away from home as possible. So much of the American - and modern global - narrative involves saying goodbye to one's small (or small-minded) hometown to fulfill big dreams in the Big City. How difficult it must have been for Zach to see peer after peer leave San Pedro and move on with their lives. His departure being continually delayed by working spirit-crushing jobs, living with an unhealthy family dynamic and filling a parental role abandoned by someone else. The dark cloud of melancholy only seemed to thicken with time. Zach's long-harbored desires to break free from his limited circumstances and pursue his dream of being an artist appeared as dim as the sun on a smoggy day . . . So much for sunny California.

***

I'm still recovering from a wonderfully zany gathering with my family. Sunday dinner is a tradition worth fighting for (and during). Looking back, I've realized that the concept of the "big happy family" is an inspiring, and often tiring, model to reference and not an ideal to worship. Actually, I'm more concerned with the healthy family instead. Even this type of family should only serve as a goal and not become an idol. Agreement among human beings is rare, communication fleeting and harmony elusive. Sure, happiness is great, but it is a natural byproduct of honesty, respect, laughter, anger, support and, yes, pain. Like environmental pollution, dysfunctional relationships are a sad reality of modern life. They should not be excused or tolerated, but they can be viewed in perspective as particularly painful cocoons from which some of the most beautiful butterflies emerge. Life is about struggle. If there is any doubt about this, consult with Mother Nature. One of the hardest realizations I've had is that our existence is mostly about tragedy. (Now, I actually find more joy and peace in accepting this fact than in denying it.) Even if we are blessed with a soulmate, and we are really careful to nurture this loving bond for the rest of our lives, our ultimate "reward" always involves infirmity, senility and mortality. To be sure, life is comedy when we have friends and confidants to recount our indignities to. Life is also a comfort, but only when we have a healthy family to help us deal with harsh truths while they bandage our wounded hearts. Just as with fortunes, some of us inherit our true families through birth. Others, like successful entrepreneurs, create loving families during life. The exceedingly resourceful among us manage to cultivate both. According to Mary Piper, Ph.D. (where would we be without Ph.D.s? - I'm noticing a trend here and promise my next link will be from a licensed esthetician.) in her book The Shelter of Each Other , family is "our shelter from the storm, our oldest and most precious institution and our last great hope."

1: Metamorphosis

The Butterfly Story

(excerpt)

. . . the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were nature's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings, so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If nature allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. And we could never fly.

(Author unknown. Excerpt from: The Butterfly Story )

**

I think a primary reason I love the film Shelter as much as I do is the way it chronicles the process of personal transformation. The story is particularly significant for those who've had to emerge from a cocoon of dysfunction in order to free themselves from the bondage of low self-esteem.

Dr. Louise Hart's miraculous book On the Wings of Self Esteem is a perfect "field guide" to the beauty, majesty and mystery of inner growth.

The book offers a step-by-step approach to understanding how an unhealthy family dynamic can contribute to a fractured sense of self. It then provides wonderful insight into how people can allow their hearts to soar, let their spirits take flight and live out their destiny.

In a modern world that constantly forces humans into prefabricated existences and preconceived identities, it is a constant struggle to be an authentic individual. Once authenticity is achieved, beauty abounds. Once beauty is revealed, creativity naturally follows. Authenticity is, therefore, the necessary precursor to creation and creation is the very essence of life.

**

"With each pulse, fluid is forced into the soft wings, stiffening them . . . With one final contraction, the excess fluid is expelled from the body. The butterfly has become the magnificent work of art it was meant to be all along. "

- Dr. Louise Hart

Do you love him?

I always feel bad about coming down hard on Jeanne. She is a wonderfully conceived and beautifully realized character. Both the writer/director and the actress should be praised for creating such an accurate portrait.

The other character that touches my heart is Tori, Zach's steadfast best friend and sometimes girlfriend. She serves as the perfect counterpoint to Jeanne and a crucial element in the love story.

***

Modernity and maturity personified, many contemporary women are independent but not cold, loving but not clingy. They could be anywhere in the world and dealing with any set of circumstances, but they all have perfected the skill of being gentle when they need to be and tough when they have to be. I'm reminded of those "girl power" shows and cartoons from the 90's and it's somewhat cool to find out that woman power isn't about supernatural gifts or cultural phenomena. More and more, I'm realizing that it's about women accepting their power over their own lives and understanding their influence in the lives of others. It's well known, however, that with rights come responsibilities. Like "special powers", woman power can be wielded for either good or evil.

***

To Tori, the real question is, "Do you love him?"

Tori is such a stabilizing force. She seems to approach every situation with the utmost level-headedness. True to her down-to-earth nature, Tori cuts through Zach's emotional conflict to what matters most.

Many people have referred to the French film, Just a Question of Love (Juste une question d'amour) as a companion piece to Shelter. I haven't seen the movie yet, but it's next on my list. Who knows? Maybe I'll have another reason to blog my brains out. - Not! :)

Come here

It's always interesting to compare Zach and Jeanne. Like Shaun and Gabe, a strong bond of love connects the two radically different siblings. Perhaps no where are the contrasts between Zach and his sister more apparent than in their relationships with their respective lovers.

***

What is intimacy? I'm (just) realizing that the more sexually explicit our culture becomes, the more disconnected we are from each other - and ourselves. Yet, deep inside, there's an intense longing to relate and connect. Whether it be on a spiritual, emotional, mental or physical level. Dr. Barton Goldsmith's blog, Emotional Fitness offers a refreshing take on the human desire for Intimacy. All too often, I see connection being confused with consumption (another trend I've been late in discovering). We try to fill the void within instead of nurturing the bonds without. There's a desperate need to silence the "static" disrupting the frequency of our inner voice and abandon the "scripts" constricting individuality. I've found, however, that the effort this process entails is so exhausting that I can't judge those who simply resign themselves to whatever society and the mass-media hand out. Yet the stakes are so high and the risks so fundamental. What's worse is seeing how a devalued sense of self attracts second-hand treatment from others and a cast-off existence. Second-hand materials are great (not to mention, "green") and cast-off items are now considered "finds" but human life is not merchandise assembled on a conveyer belt and the interpersonal experience is not a product to be manufactured.

***

Shaun says to Zach as he offers him a hug: "Come here."
Zach is a caring individual who has been fortunate enough to find an equally caring soul in Shaun. Shaun's response to Zach comes from their deepening intimacy.

Jeanne says to Alan as they loudly make out: "Come here."
This vividly illustrates that Jeanne and Alan are more like two animals in a cage than real lovers. Their relationship is based on physical appetites, not personal connection. Keeping Alan probably means Jeanne gets to hold on to the fairytale fantasy of being rescued by a man. This fantasy allows her to escape the reality of being a mother and deny the fact that she is no longer a child.

Baby on board, huh!

I think Cody has to be the most adorable child character to show up on screen in ages. Who wouldn't be powerless against that perfect haircut, those precocious mannerisms and the endearing demeanor? It's easy to understand why anyone with a heart, and in their right mind, would completely rearrange their life to look after him.

***

All too often, society sends the message that children are excess baggage rather than precious cargo. I'm always tempted to focus on the work they involve or the sacrifices they require instead of appreciating the love they exude and the hope they represent. The truth is, childhood is the most significant time in a person's life and a wonderful opportunity for caretakers. The type of pain experienced and the amount of protection received during childhood greatly influences whether someone will remain a caterpillar or become a butterfly. I always take popular psychology with a huge grain of salt but, the older I get, the more I realize the important role childhood experiences play in defining who adults become - myself especially! The oft-maligned concept of the Inner Child is common knowledge. Except for a Ph.D. in Psychology, however, it's harder to gain an understanding of the idea behind it. The Child Within is an online explanation which may (or may not) prove helpful to those looking for a close-up on the topic.

***

The word "board" seems to run through much of Shelter's plot. It appears in a variety of contexts and with a number of connotations:

**

1) Gabe to Zach: "Baby on board, huh!"

I guess it bears repeating that Zach's life was totally affected by his love and care for his nephew, Cody. The viewer sees how drastically different Zach's daily activities are from his friends', and even his sister's, for that matter.

**

2) Zach to Shaun: "I wouldn't want to get your Dad in trouble with the Board."

Ah, the beauty of exclusive communities - not to mention the confinement and repression of wealth! It, however, becomes easily apparent why a liberated soul like Shaun would not want to live under such control - not to mention, latent hypocrisy and bigotry.

**

3) Gabe to Shaun: "My big bro on a longboard, I never thought I'd see the day!" Shaun to Gabe: "Give it ten years and call me back on that."
Perhaps nothing confirms Shaun's adulthood and maturity more than this exchange. Especially in contrast with his little brother and Zach. Shaun is not just a "grown-up". He is a man who gracefully accepts the inevitable changes that come with age and peacefully embraces the necessary choices that accompany growth.

**

4) Zach leaving his longboard at the Andrews house.
The fact that Zach uses both a shortboard and a longboard appears to symbolize that he has to constantly switch between the youthful world of his peers and the grownup demands of his family. This was such an ingenious plot device because Zach's retrieving the longboard served as the catalyst for his mature and intimate relationship with Shaun.

**

5) Shaun getting Cody a kid's surfboard and wetsuit as a gift.
To me, this officially confirms Cody's adoption into the Andrews extended family. Zach came with Gabe and now Cody comes with Zach.

And I like that

It's pretty obvious that I like (ok, am obsessed with) the movie, Shelter. I'm still trying to figure out why I can't stop thinking about this film! The specifics of the story cannot be more different from my own life. The movie's elements, however, are so relatable that I can't help but find personal experiences reflected on the screen, presented in the settings and echoed by the sounds. After several months, dozens of viewings and more long-winded message board posts than I dare admit, I've decided to take my time and ride out this wave until the next cinematic revelation comes along.

So, why the movie madness? . . . Here are some of the things that I love about Shelter - none of which appeal to logic or reason:

The setting: The oft-neglected San Pedro, California location is given top billing. This city reminds me so much of my hometown here in Connecticut that it can easily serve as Bridgeport's fraternal twin or first cousin, at least.

The characters: In their own way, they are a reflection and a revelation. I have either known or been someone similar to each character at various points in my life. There's even a sense that they represent different sections of my inner psyche. Perhaps this explains why their dialogue and motivations seem so authentic. I've recently become acquainted with the field of art therapy and I'm constantly amazed at how cathartic it is to watch the relationships unfold.

The story: It's easy to dismiss kitchen sink realism as the stuff of made-for-TV movies, but this treatment is so appropriate for Shelter's plot. The domestic scenes allow the viewer to relate to the characters, internalize even the subtlest emotions and experience the level of intimacy portrayed.

The production: Although it remains firmly rooted in the independent filmmaking process, the movie stands out by deftly combining key elements from television and popular culture. A transcendent quality reflects the same images found on the average TV screen: the family-driven Lifetime/Hallmark drama; the sexy HBO/Showtime series; the slick MTV/VHI music video (I think Zach and Shaun's nebulous age gap is best described as the difference between these two channels); not to mention, the youth-oriented ESPN/X Games sports culture. There's even a Jerry Springer/Oprah tinge to Zach's family struggles and his sister's promiscuity. In my opinion, the film's most powerful attraction is its post-millennial take on two popular 80’s flicks: Flashdance and The Karate Kid. Shelter's anti-Brokeback ambitions are wonderfully realized, but, to me, the movie's anti-Cinderella subtext stands as its most enchanting (and radical) feature. In this departure from the original tale, a codependent family dynamic must rescue itself from implosion and the battle for true love involves three charming princes and only one "evil" sister.

The sensitivity: If a wave of pop culture makes Shelter relevant, a strong undercurrent of art makes the movie resonate. The visuals are both edgy and ethereal, perfectly capturing the conflict between Zach’s dismal reality and his suppressed desires. The dialogue is mundane, profane and poetic all at the same time. The melodic soundtrack establishes the stream of consciousness upon which the plot drifts forward. Most of all, the narrative arcs are largely left up to the viewer's interpretation and emotional projection. These layers help Shelter succeed at being an art film in the classic sense while serving as a contemporary work of heart.

The sensibleness: I know I mentioned that my explanation would not appeal to logic or reason, but it doesn’t mean that the film can’t. My absolute favorite aspect of the story is that it makes sense. Sure, there are online discussions picking apart missing details, but, overall, I think this is one of the most logical love stories that I’ve seen in a long time. The very fact that I’m using the words logical and love story in the same sentence is amazing enough. The movie illustrates the deep connection between our emotional responses and our past experiences. It also reveals how finding intimacy helps us embrace our true selves. Shelter reminds one that life has its own inner wisdom and that our existence flows in directions which we cannot immediately understand. Upon looking back (or up at a movie screen), however, we realize that these currents are what pull us towards our destiny.